The Secrets of Peregrin Took
by KayDrew
Summary: Pippin has a secret that hurts him.


"I don't think much of this weather." Grumbled an impatient hobbit as he sat by a window looking out at the snow, "Three days…I wish it would just let up. I need to get out of here."

The irritated and slightly hysterical lad moved away from where he had been sitting and went and looked at the bookshelves on the far wall. His green eyes scanned each name and his head was tilted upwards. The mass of honey curls tumbled over his green woolen shirt. He tapped his foot slightly and gave up looking for something to read. He had hoped to find something to read to keep himself out of trouble and harms way. With a sigh, he went to the game room and found all of the other children very busy and when he wanted to join in with a game one of the hobbit lasses shouted at him. "Peregrin Took go play somewhere else." The lass, Daisy, a distant cousin, were crosser then usual (which was saying something as it seemed she was **always** cross about one thing or another).

"Hrph…" Pippin muttered stomping out of the room, "All I wished was for some fun." Daisy was always yelling at him to leave and do something else when she was about. It was more then likely because she was nearly ten years elder to his twenty.

Slowly he made his way to the kitchen. He looked around the pantry and found some left over gingerbread. Making sure no one was there, he snuck three pieces out of the basket. Pippin stuffed them in his pocket and then went to the hall. He grabbed his woolen cloak and his infamous scarf. Quickly he put his cloak on and then his plaid scarf around his neck. The young hobbit trotted to the door and went outside.

He need not close the door, because as soon as he took a half a step outside, the door was blown shut with a powerful gust of wind. "Brr..." he whispered, rubbing his hands together. He stuck his hands in his pockets and jogged down the snow-covered hill against the wind.

Tookland was truly beautiful in the winter. Its hobbit holes and the hills were blanketed in the sparkling, crisp snow. At every hole candle and fireplace light illuminated the insides of the hobbits homes and smoke came from all of the chimneys, making each hole seem very welcoming. With a small smile, Pippin trudged on and started imagining what each person was doing. Most of the ideas that came to the young lad were wild and very imaginative (the most wild was the thought of Mr. Boggy-Hillocks hatching a dragon – that came about because of the purple smoke coming from his chimney.) Pippin stopped by the white washed, snow-covered fence and looked at the Boggy-Hillocks place. Ivy came out, carrying a bucket. "Hullo, Pippin. What brings you around here?" She asked

Pippin blushed. "Oh, hullo, Ivy. I was just umm walking around." He stammered.

Ivy smiled at him and continued down the hill to her family's well. She sat the bucket down and started to pump the water. Pippin followed her and watched silently as she worked. When she picked up the bucket, Pippin hurried and got it for her. "Let me." he said quietly.

"Be careful." She said as he scurried up the hill with the bucket. He opened the door and placed it inside.  
Ivy smiled at him and he smiled at her. He blushed a little. "Thank-you for your help." She said, leaning in and kissing him on the cheek. At the same moment, Pippin had leant in as well, but to brush flour off her shoulder.

Pippins mouth hung open and he nodded slowly as she went inside, still smiling, this time coyly.

Ivy waved to Pippin as she went into the house. Pippin waved back and stood, staring at the door for a time, daydreaming.

Meanwhile, Paladin Took was bundled up. He had to go into town to get some supplies. He stopped when he saw his son kissing the Boggy-hillocks girl. He scowled darkly and all thoughts of what he needed were forgotten. "That boy…" He muttered, storming down the hill and a little a ways from his son.

"Pippin!" He called sharply, bringing him out of his stupor.

Pippin turned and saw his father standing a little away, looking very angry. The young boy gulped as he went over to him. He looked at the ground. "Da…" he whispered starting to explain, but his father did not let him finish. Roughly, he grabbed his son by the arm. His eyes were big and he looked vicious. Pippin knew that look all too well, it was bad, and the look terrified Pippin

"Pippin," Paladin said roughly, half-dragging the poor child home, "What were you doing with Ivy?"

"No…nothing." The lad stammered, but his father did not believe him.

"I saw you two." He growled digging his fingers into his shoulder, steering him towards home.

Pippin let his father maneuver him home. He knew it would no use fighting his father; in fact, it would be a mistake. His father stopped by the Tookburough and then led him to the shed. He roughly shoved Pippin in there and closed the door behind him as Paladan entered. It was pitch black in the shed and Pippin had no idea what his father had planned for him. Slowly Pippin backed up until the rake was digging slightly into his back. "Strip from the waist up." His father hissed at him. Pippin heard his father take off his belt and slap it against his back. Pippin gulped slightly and with numb and fumbling fingers unbuttoned his clothing. Pippin stood there, half naked with his shirt, cloak, and scarf puddle around his feet, and shivering, waiting for his father to advance.

The lad blinked, trying to get used to the blackness and just as he thought he had, a new blackness hit his eyes. Paladan struck his back with the leather belt as hard as he could. "No sound." His father hissed and Pippin nodded, though tears trickled down his cheeks.

_Whack_…._twack_…_thwack…_ - over and over those sounds echoed in his ears. He would wince each time, but not a sound was uttered from his lips. The final blow came to his face – right across the eyes. It only stopped because Pippin felt onto his hands and knees, his head bent. Paladan stood over him, holding the bloody belt in his hands. He gave him a kick; sending the child flat and face down on the sheds dirt floor. "Weakling." He muttered, as Paladan always did at the end. He dropped the belt and opened the door. "Not a word, do not tell anyone." Paladan said, leaving, with the door open.

Pippin groaned and whimpered slightly. He closed his green eyes as tears trickled down his face. He hurt, all over and his lungs burned. Pippin was used to it though, the pain and the beatings - all most every other day he got a beating, never quite this bad though.

"Pippin!" someone exclaimed worry in her voice.

Pippin tried to raise his head and could, but just a fraction. He struggled to open his eyes, which he was able to, but only a crack. He saw a pair of feet pattering over to him. Peregrin then saw a scarlet skirt puff up and then circle around her feet as she knelt beside him. The young woman, Daisy, looked Pippin over with tearful eyes. "Oh Pippin…what happened? Your father?" she asked.

Pippin half nodded and wondered dimly as faded away into unconsciousness how she knew about what his father did.

Slowly Pippin woke. He felt sun on his face and something wrapped around his head and eyes, though his eyes were too swollen to open so seeing at the time was not important. Without moving, he took track of his body. Everything seemed to be in its proper place, but he hurt terribly, especially he back and eyes. As Pippin lay there, he tried to remember what had happened. Only one word came to mind. _Father._

He took in choking breath as he remembered everything and tears came into the corners of his swollen eyes.

Abruptly, a hand took his gently. The mysterious person raised it to its lips and softly kissed the hand. "Oh, Pip." He heard his cousin say in a teary voice as Pippins hand was then gently stroked and pressed to Merrys wet cheek. Pippin felt tears drip onto his hands as Merry sobbed and rocked ever so slightly. "Why did you not say something?" he was asked

Pippin opened his mouth, to answer, but found he had no voice. He need not answer anyway because Merry continued to talk. "Never you mind. It is over now and it will not happen again. I promise you that, Pippin. I will make sure it does not." Merry told Pippin quietly as Pippin wondered how long he had been in bed and how long Merry had been there. Then, he wondered how he had heard what had happened.

As if his cousin knew what was on his mind, Merry answered. "Your mother wrote me – she knew you would need me. That was nigh a week ago." He whispered, "I have been here for nearly the same time and I will stay until you are well; from head to toe."

Pippin half smiled because he knew that was true, but the smile faded. "Da?" Pippin croaked

Merry cleared his throat. "Well, Paladan was banished from Tookland. He will not be coming back." Merry said, sounding very angry.

"I'm sorry Merry." Pippin whispered, ashamed of himself for not telling anyone, especially, but he had been so scared.

"Sorry? You should not be the sorry one, Peregrin; your father who should be. He is not though, I am sad to say. I saw him being led away and he is not. He told me…. well I will not say what he said, but you did not deserve it." Merriadoc said

"How is mum?" Pippin asked sleepily

"Worried sick and angry at Paladan, but she is resting now." Merry said, stroking Pippins hand some more.

Daisy bustled into the room, a tense smile upon her face. "Oh Pippin." Daisy whispered, sitting down on the floor and burying her hands in her face, "It is my f-fault." She stammered, "I knew. I was trying to figure out how to tell your mum without him finding out." Merry looked angrily at her. "You knew," he snarled

"Aye, I-I did. I am terribly sorry. If I had told, Paladan said he would cut my and my family's' tongue out. I-I was scared."

Merry stood and Pippin knew. "Merry…" he hissed, "Leave her be. It is all right. It is over, as you said."

The once angry hobbit sat down and bit on his thumb. Over? Far from it, but half the battle was over all ready. The worse was just beginning.

For a few days more, Pippin stayed in bed, sleeping mostly or just listening to Merrys soft murmurings. Pippin never left the lads side and his mother stayed nearly as much as Merry. The only time she would leave was if Daisy ordered her to go get a bite to eat or to lie down for a small nap. When Pippin was finally told he could get out of bed, he needed help with many things. The bandages were still on his face, because his eyes had not fully healed yet, though his back was pretty much well. Merry was more then happy to help his cousin about.

On one day soon after, Merry was leading him along outside. The sun was nice and warm and most of the snow was melted. Merry described everything, but stopped when they reached the shed. "What?" Pippin asked as if nothing was wrong

"Nothing…" Merry muttered

"What?" Pippin repeated, "I wish to know. Please, Merry..."

"All right, Pip. We are near the shed." Merry said quietly

Pippins' lip quivered as he stood there and tears trickled down his face. He sat down and bowed his head. Merry bent beside his cousin and wrapped a protective arm around his shoulders. "Why?" Pippin demanded

"I do not know Pippin. I do not. However, it will be all right. I will get you through the heart ache." Merry cooed, stroking the soft curls.

Pippin nodded and hoped badly that he was right. He leaned against Merrys shoulder and wept for a while. Merry just let him weep. Pippin needed to do that so that could heal.

"Did he ever love me?" Pippin asked after a time.

Merry opened his mouth to answer; he was not sure which would be the worse reply. If Merry said yes, that might hurt him worse and if he said no that could bring him into a shell that no one could break. The elder hobbit did not have to answer because Daisy showed up then. "Yes, he did Pippin." She replied, "He did not really mean to harm you, but he started drinking more – more then any respectable hobbit should – and it brought out a nasty side of him" Daisy shook her head. "I tried to get him to stop, but –" Daisy did not finish and just shook her head slowly and sighed. "I need to check your eyes." She said to Pippin.

Pippin nodded and slowly stood. He, being lead by Merry, and Daisy went into the house. He was led to the kitchen and he found a spot at the small table. Daisy stood in front of Pippin. She took up a pair of scissors and slowly cut through the cotton. Daisy laid the cotton onto the table. "Open them." She instructed. The young lad obliged to the request. Slowly he blinked and then looked around, finding everything too bright. "It is too bright in here." He said

Merry closed the shutters. "How is this?" he asked

Pippin smiled weakly. "Much better." He said, "Thanks." Pippin sniffed and just sat there, staring at his lap.

"Pippin?" Merry asked, crouching beside his cousin, "Are you all right?"

He looked at his cousin. "No, Mer, but I will be – as you said." Pippin said, giving his cousin an authentic, but weak smile. "I will be."


End file.
